The Three Important Realisations from College Life ⏳

The lessons that will remain forever

Manpa Barman
5 min readMay 15, 2022
Photo by RODOLFO BARRETO on Unsplash

After graduating from college, many realizations were on my way. Some were good and some were about the disasters I did.

But the three most influential realizations helped me grow myself into who I am today and definitely will help the young generation correct themselves or even do not make such mistakes in the very first place.

  1. A more flexible mindset
  2. Boundaries and complexities of being an extrovert
  3. Spending is not always negative

Are you ready to read my story of realizations?

A little back story

I have been a very hyper child all my life. Here, by ‘hyper’ I mean very active always. I have unintentionally attracted a lot of attention all throughout my academic career, at least to date. I think everything started, with me being a culturally inspired child. I was an active participant in Arts, Music, and even occasionally some Dance, and a range of other creative works right from my childhood. Excelling in such domains requires you a lot of confidence and less to zero stage fright. I thoroughly enjoyed all of it and to be honest, I loved the love and fame I received from people.

Naturally, since I was a relatively bright student(by this I mean I have good grades), these extracurriculars kind of boosted my profile altogether.

So, that’s how I turned I am who I am today — The super extrovert girl 🥸.

So what went wrong here?

Was that (the fame and love and the numerous shows I was part of) worth it?

Yes definitely. I am way more confident as well as comfortable talking to people, be it strangers. I still get the attention, I used to get and do not struggle with starting a conversation, which most of my friends do. I have people in my life who are very uncomfortable approaching people, especially those of a different gender.

I will call myself privileged here, to have received had the proper guidance or exposure to a more “confidence-requiring” domain i.e. of creative arts.

Do I love everything about this?

I think no. I feel I unintentionally missed a lot of things in my life. I never played a video game as a child or was a Harry Potter fan, nor did I listen to Beatles or have taken part in Olympiads ever in my life. I just could not manage it all.

My regular routine involved — doing my classes at school, followed by getting involved in some art wallboard or some practice sessions for some music or dance performances after school hours, and then finally reaching home in the evening time, doing my homework, and sleeping. My weekends were also consumed taking Art and Indian Classical Diploma classes.

I have never been as busy all my life as I was in my school life 😂 but was never flexible or comfortable to explore beyond this.

Photo by Sigmund on Unsplash

Lesson 1: Never stop exploring. Look around what others are up to and learn from everyone. Dreams evolve as we grow up and so do our interests. Being flexible is the key.

When I stepped into college, I saw people with a variety of hobbies some of which I haven’t even heard till then. It was overwhelming and fun too.

I was exploring more things. I coincidently made very strong bonds with a few tech enthusiasts and they were and are still kind to teach me all.

But my overly extroverted and fun-loving self of mine was still in me.

Did it make my life easier outside my school premises?

Being an extrovert, I could connect with a lot of people. Talk to almost everyone and was pretty confident in stage and performing arts. Almost everyone knew me. I received the utmost care and love from everyone around me.

But everything comes with a not-so-desirable side. I was losing being disciplined and mentally strong to prioritize one thing over the other, due to my overly caring and adjusting nature. There is a thin line between being outgoing or extrovert and being available for all.

My best friend always told me to keep myself disciplined and not to forcefully try to adjust to everything going around with my known ones.

Photo by Elevate on Unsplash

It took me some time to learn to focus and say “No” whenever I do not want to do something. Although I still sometimes struggle here, I keep going. As introverts, it is also sometimes daunting to be an extrovert with such challenges popping up.

Introvert, Extrovert, or Ambivert are mere categories everyone like to categorize themselves to understand themselves better, however, for me, it is just you and how you want to see and improve yourself, irrespective of the categorical definitions.

Lesson 2: Being an extrovert doesn’t require you to adjust or be available to everyone every time, just because you are being loved and you enjoy the company. It is very important for you to learn to draw that boundary that people will eventually learn to respect and not take you for granted. This is a skill every extrovert should ace to stay sane in a long run and focus on improving themselves.

During my college life, investments were not something I looked into like I do now. I have never had the craze of buying the most high-quality things or investing in some really useful gadgets, until my friends who have insisted I think of the pros and cons before buying anything.

Even for internships, I always had the habit of calculating the finances and then thinking about the opportunity.

However, certain spendings are an investment for the future. I took one right decision towards the end of my degree by pursuing an internship overseas, which although was named funded but had a lot of unlying expenses.

But today, I am totally proud of that investment I did for my future.

Photo by PiggyBank on Unsplash

Lesson 3: Look at the opportunity and prospects first before the finances. Make a list of the returns you will get on the financial investment (internships/professional training or be it a gadget like a kindle) and then make a decision. Almost every free thing comes at a price and not all financial investments (ofcourse of a feasible and bearable amount — not advising to sell your property🥲) are bad or will leave you in debt.

I wish I adopted or learned these lessons earlier, but anyway it is never late to start anything. I still learn from mistakes and intend to further revise the lessons in the years to come.

It’s all about upgrading yourself and competing with your own abilities.

You may want to clap and follow me if you find the blogs interesting for more updates ✌️.

--

--

Manpa Barman

Life is taking twists and turns. This space is to share my work and experiences so far.